MUSCLEFEST WELCOMES YOU
MUSCLEFEST
The Full Story
Since being established in 2018, MuscleFest has been known as the single largest gathering of bicep enthusiasts in the world. A Comedy Festival Devoted To The Bicep, the idea arose when the event’s founder Russell Gonzarelli grew frustrated with the lack of respect the two headed muscle that lies on the upper arm between the shoulder and the elbow was getting. Beginning with starting Bicep Awareness Month, Gonzarelli and his team dedicate the entire month of September to raising awareness by supplying Ultimate Warrior Ribbons and a daily tribute to a jacked ass bro (it’s not always a man, they’ve been Kangaroos, possums, and women) with the “Bicep of The Day” series. Musclefest the event is held quarterly, for information on when the next Musclefest will be held subscribe to our website, follow us on Facebook, or email us at GluckMedia1.com.
FUTURE FACES OF MOUNT CRUSHMORE
Current Champion: Steven Duca
MuscleFest Prayers You don’t cockfuck from your (heart) ❤️ , you dobn’t cockfuck from your (cock) 🍆, you cockfuck from your (Bicep) 💪.
The Bro Prayer
We must bow our heads before cockfucking.
Dear Joe Rogan
Our bodies are a temple and we plan to treat them as such. Thy realize if we fill our bodies with trash our bodies will become trash and we won’t be able to fuck dudes up no more. Thy also realize if we don’t have the proper amount of protein we run the risk of being puny little bitches.
Holy Rogan, give us this day our daily low carb bread and forgive those who trespass at our home gym without a monthly membership because they’re too cheap to invest in themselves and lead us not into temptation of sugars and fats but deliver us from that evil. A-Men! Men! Men! Men! To The Rogan, To The Hogan, To The Macho Man
COCKO MARX
Satisfaction Guaranteed
Cocko Marx is the most prolific face of Musclefest. Born and raised in Aspen, Colorado he attended Cumingbine High School. He is a pioneer of Cockfucking and someday soon will have his face imprinted on Mount Crushmore.
CARBS=EVIL
Here For You
Our policy is simple: if you treat your body like a dumpster then we’re gonna throw trash in it. Treat your body like temple, then we’ll gladly worship it.
RUSSELL GONZARELLI
Next Level Service
The GodFather of Muscle. The founder and creator of Musclefest. Gonzarelli is a Staten Island based Stand Up comedian who’s performed all over the country. His last tour “The Crazy Old Fucks who Don’t know no better” saw Gonzarelli perform in front 10’s of people every night, selling out venues such as The Cedar Oaks Senior Center And Peppino Peppa’s Manhattan Studio’s.
MUSCLE DADDY RANK
Satisfaction Guaranteed
1st Degree Muscle Daddy Brother Tom Zack Breheny Nick Tilleli No Filter Paul Dave Hoj Terrible Tim
2nd Degree Muscle Daddy Patrick Haggerty Robert Cardazone Nick Carra Jerry Martinez John Fox Travis Grant Farooq Hussain Byron Sadik Mercer Morrison Greg Cardazone Matteo Pascale Tom Farrell Joe Mahoney Mike Kramer James Pontillo John Kurshner John Zombie Thompson Matt Maran
3rd Degree Muscle Daddy’s Joseph W James Angela Sharp Antonio Giurato John Galli Pauline Murphy Steven Duca Paul the Manager from Pepper Jacks Justin Lanza
Mount Crushmore Joe Rogan Russell Gonzarelli Anyone who’s ever appeared on Jackass (except for Preston Lacy) That Jacked Ass Kangaroo That Jacked Ass Old Lady Vince McMahon
MOUNT CRUSHMORE
Nurnberger Bierhaus 817 Castleton Ave SINY Rusty’s Tavern 879 Forrest Ave
The Quaterly event is held on Staten Island, NY- The Borough of Gyms. Nurnberger Bierhaus has hosted the event twice. Rusty’s Tavern on Forrest has hosted the most recent MuscleFest.
CHAMPIONS OF MUSCLEFEST
