10 Ways to Worship your Buddy’s Biceps without coming across Gay

If you enjoy the male physical form as much as I do and at the same time don’t want to come across as gay then you’re in luck because I have 10 tips on how you can worship your buddy’s biceps without sending out mixed signals!

10. Constantly Reassure your friends on how much you love pussy: if you’re in a car and you see a MuscleMommy walking the streets and the legs are out, turn to the MuscleDaddy next to you and say “this is a friendly weather“. He’ll know exactly what you mean.

9. Carbs are evil: this is not so much as a tip on how to worship your buddys biceps without appearing gay as so much as your daily reminder that the devil invented carbs and fat people to destroy Gods plan.

8. Avoid Yoga: You can’t get yoked by stretching in lady pants, it’s also horrible for your image at the gym.

7. Every so often in casual conversation bring up ”how big“ your other friends are: for example: “yeah I’ll go see a movie, that reminds me have you seen my friend Clifford lately- dudes looking diesel, he’s on this new program that I can’t even keep up with“.

6. Only touch when you’re given consent: we all want to feel our buddies rock hard pythons like we did with our jacked ass Dads when we were kids but there’s a fine line between just grabbing at the Muscle without consent and noticing how big your buddy looks by verbally complimenting him on his growth and then politely asking if it’s okay if you can feel them.

5. Talk about how much you love titties: you should be talking about titties whenever you’re not lifting. Doing “tittie chants“ with your boys, suggesting hooters for afternoon lunch (avoid fried chicken wings), and when you see a large breasted woman in the streets motion to your buddies by grabbing at air boobs while making a honking noise.

4. Having a Roster: Just like your workout schedule you have an itinerary.

Example :

Monday and Wednesdays- Chest And Legs And “Farrah“

Tuesday and Thursdays- Arms And Back And “Denise“

Fridays and Saturday- Cardio And “Christy”

Sunday- The Lords Day And “Kelly”

3. Physical Challenge: Nothing says I respect your diesel more than challenging your boys to a bout of physicality. Whether that said physicality is wrestling, boxing, weight lifting competition, or arm wrestling this lets your buddy know to never question your thirst for competition and that you’re game to take him on anytime.

2. Remember where you cockfuck from: You cockfuck from the Bicep.

1. Say “No Homo”: “No Homo” is your friend, it automatically erases any connotation that what you said was kind of gay. The phrase is magical and before it existed men walked the universe not knowing where they stood with other MuscleDaddy’s, before “No Homo” men were in fear of throwing your boys a hot spike without sounding a little gay. That fear was destroyed when sometime in the mid 2000’s a man had enough and said ”Hey Bro for real, you‘re looking really jacked lately, whatever it is that you’re doing- Keep at it!” and then he uttered these words for the first time in history: “No Homo”.