Cuck Norris Facts

Cuck Norris counted to infinity... until his wife told him to stop counting and it was okay for him to come out from the corner now.

Cuck Norris tears cure cancer.... he jars them up while crying himself to sleep

Guns don’t kill people. Cuck Norris wants to abolish the 2nd amendment.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Cuck Norris has 73 because he’s a product of incest.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is Cuck Norris’s wife‘s mouth

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Cuck Norris once, you’ve already had sex with his wife.

Cuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes. He doesn’t own any because he shares them with his wife.

Cuck Norris can win a game of connect four because he’s the only loser who still plays connect four.

Cuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him that they all just finished running a train on his wife.

How much wood could a woodchuck cuck could a woodchuck cuck Cuck Norris? That would Depend on whether or not Cuck Norris’s wife would want to fuck a woodchuck.

Cuck Norris can divide by zero because he divides zero by himself.

While urinating, Cuck Norris is easily capable of starting and stopping a bunch of times because he suffers from paruresis

Cuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, he hires a ghost writer to write his books for him.

When Cuck Norris talks. Everybody is way too busy fucking his wife to listen.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his life time. Cuck Norris calls one of these women his wife.

Cuck Norris always knows the exact location of Carmen San Diego because he makes shit up too try and sound cool.

When taking the SAT, write “Cuck Norris“ for every answer and you’ll score a “Zero”.

Cuck Norris doesn’t throw up if he drinks too much because he’s a loser alcoholic with a strong tolerance for booze.

Cuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth because he’s too cheap to invest in a coffee machine.

If you google “Cuck Norris gets his ass kicked“ you’re probably into Cuck porn.

When Cuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn’t walk around people. He finds the nearest fire exit, leaves, and sets off the alarm.

Cuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer by allowing all of them to have sex with his wife.

Some kids play kick the Can. Cuck Norris plays kick the Can by himself because nobody wants to be his friend.